Fa-la-la-la-la, Christmas is here! There are a lot of ways to get into the holiday spirit: You can decorate a tree, bake Christmas cookies, exchange gifts at a white elephant party—the list goes on.

Some Christmas music is classic; some is cringe-worthy. Today we celebrate the latter. This is the music you play when you want your guests to leave. Indeed, it is, and nothing sets the mood quite ...